You're the stalker I kinda wanted to have
by LadyDemolition
Summary: RPF! Chris is bored, using the internet to entertain himself with nerdy funny stuff when he suddenly googles something he knows he would regret later.


Chris really hadn't planned this through, he hadn't even thought about it, at least not really because he had made up a large red blinking STOP-sign in his head that appeared whenever his consciousness wanted to drift into quite arousing fantasies regarding his new coworker.

All he was doing was sitting in his trailer, bored, alone with the internet.

He started typing in names of random cast members in google due to his boredom, trying to find some funny paparazzi pictures, especially of Amber since she was the one who put up a video of him on a treadmill and Chris didn't find himself any more sexy when he was doing sports.

Especially not when he was doing sports.

It was all planned to be an act of revenge.

When he figured that this idea wasn't actually his best he continued typing in random things.

Harry Potter.

Optimus Prime.

Sai sword techniques.

Suddenly his hands typed "Darren Criss shirtless" and he could swear that he had no control over his fingers then.

Chris tried to close the window, turn away, shoving away this stupid, stupid idea but all he could do was stare, stare at Darren's ripped body.

Boy, he had never imagined that Blaine, this nice Dalton Academy guy had such a buff body.

His eyes scanned down his frame.

Starting at his unruly and wet, dark hair, the sensual hazel eyes, down his defined hairy chest, his stomach, his freaking sixpack!

Hipbones sticking out perfectly under lightly tanned skin, his pants sitting just so damn low, you could see the dark line of hair disappearing underneath them.

Chris's tongue slipped out, licking his dry lips, gasping, heat running through his body.

"Oh no!", he thought to himself but the stop-sign didn't appear this time.

He felt the blood stream south and his cock twitch to life, throbbing against the rough fabric of his jeans.

For a brief moment he thought to himself that fapping over your coworker, who's also straight and new was a _really_ bad idea but he was horny and hadn't had the time to get some relieve lately and for god's sake it wasn't like he wasn't a teenager anymore!

Chris clicked the picture to make it bigger, a shiver went down his spine and he wished even if he would never admit it, that he could just get a peek of what it would look like if he could scroll down some more.

Chris swallowed hard, his hand moved slowly to the bulge in his jeans.

He started rolling his palm against his erection, hissing at the feeling.

It's been _way_ too long.

He was so sensitive he could've had come right away but he held back, wanted to savour this feeling, escaping his stressful life for once.

Chris pushed aside the guilt and the fact that what he was doing was just plain wrong and that he just had to visit some pornsite to get off like he used to but he couldn't help himself.

There was no turning back.

He opened his jeans, pushing it down with his boxerbriefs so they were resting around his ankles.

His cock was rock hard, pulsing against his stomach, he shivered when he curled his hand around it, gripping and starting to jack it roughly.

He panted, his cheeks flushed and his bright blue-green eyes were cloudy, lids half open staring at the picture in front of him in awe.

His eyes fixed the other man's hipbones.

They were sticking out in the most perfect way and Chris imagined what it would be like marking them, sucking at the skin above them, making Darren moan out for more, begging him to go deeper.

Oh my god...making Darren Criss, his coworker, his new found FRIEND moan.

He quickly shoved away that thought and run his thumb over the slit of his erection, hissing, massaging the spot right under the tip.

Chris was already leaking precum and it wouldn't be long until he came.

He let his other hand roam down his body, rotating its thumb over his balls.

They were already drawing up, the muscles in his stomach contracting, armmuscles working under his porcelain skin.

_So close._

He whimpered, continuing to work his hand up and down his length, twisting, rubbing, teasing the tip.

His hand felt rough against the sensitive skin, the only lubrication his own precum, leaking from the head.

He raised his hand, licking across the palm, making it wet to get more of the much needed friction and put it back down to his aching dick.

His other hand reached down too, massaging the sensitive spot between his balls and his hole.

It went lower.

He gasped when his index finger pushed against his entrance a bit.

In his mind it wasn't his finger but Darren's, probing and rubbing at the throbbing tight hole, preparing him slowly for something bigger, whispering things into his ear that made him blush.

Even though Chris was a virgin it wasn't like he hadn't thought about it.

Being connected with someone in the most intimate way, feeling full of another person, being one with it.

And if he was being honest with himself, if it was Darren, he wouldn't mind at all.

Darren would be perfect for him.

Nerdy, funny, beautiful and just totally awesome.

He hadn't even admitted it to himself but when he thought about it he knew he wanted him since the very first time they met and it hurt, made his heart and head arch because he also knew that he'd never have him at least not in the way he wanted to.

Simply the fact that he COULD NEVER have him drove him insane.

Chris knew it would happen one day.

He knew he would fall for a straight guy one day because he didn't want some over the top gay guy like Kurt was but someone he could lean on to, who would make him feel like a man but at the same time would keep him safe and warm, who would love him for the awkward geek he is and he was sure that Darren could do that if he wasn't straight.

_Straight._

He hated that word.

He hated the truth and he hated himself for drooling over his best _straight_ friend.

He was still jerking himself, fast and hard, needy and eager to come already.

He let one finger slide inside him, crooking, searching, rubbing.

Chris let out a loud surprised pant when he hit his prostate, stroking over the soft bump that made his cock jump and his mind go blank.

His whole body shuddered, his hand got even faster, eyes still glaring at Darren as he came, hard and pulsing all over his stomach and chest.

Chris's body was trembling, muscles working and soft pants escaping him.

He felt so high, he didn't even hear that someone knocked on the door of his trailer.

"Chris? Can I come in?"  
>"<em>Shit!",<em> he thought to himself when he heard the other man's voice.

"H-hold on a second."

He felt his cheeks burn with redness and quickly pulled up his pants, changed his shirt, throwing it in some corner in his hurry, cleaning his hands franticly.

"Come in!", he yelled.

He froze, running towards his laptop to close the window as fast as he could.

He turned around, facing a wide grinning Darren.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"I-I didn't want to interrupt you with...what you were doing.", he laughed and Chris's face went even redder.

"It's fine dude, everyone has needs.", he patted his shoulder and the blue eyed man flinched a bit at the contact, trying not to think about what he'd just done.

"So what are you up to.", Darren asked.

"N-nothing much...I-I...uhm...I was just...hanging around, I'm done filming for today.", he laughed nervously, fiddling with his hands, cheeks still flushed.

"Well...me too. Mind if I join you?", the smaller one asked.

"N-no not at all."  
>Chris cursed Darren for looking at him like that.<p>

Eyes wide and shiny, gleaming at him, a soft grin spread on his red lips, his teeth white and perfect and the dark stubbles showing on his normally cleanly shaven face.

Chris legs felt weak, jelly like and he sat down on his chair.

"Are you ok? You look kinda pale...well even paler!", Darren said worryingly.

"Yes, yes I'm good.", Chris said.

"Sooo...what do you want to do?", he asked.

Darren smiled and reached for the laptop behind Chris.

His face was so close to him, his cheek lightly brushing against his, it felt scratchy and warm and he loved it.

Chris closed his eyes, his nose full of Darren's scent.

_Gosh he was so close._

He reminded himself to breathe again.

When he opened his eyes, Darren was right in front of him.

Eyes looking right in his, his mouth was slightly open and he could hear that his breathing was way faster than normal.

"Darren...what - ", Chris was interrupted by the other man's lips closing the gap between them.

Chris wanted to pull back but the lips against his were warm and soft and they were _Darren's._

He had waited for this and now that it happened, it felt so unreal he couldn't focus.

They broke away.

"We shouldn't...I shouldn't have done this. I-I'm sorry.", Darren stuttered against the other's lips.

He pulled back when Chris took all the courage he had, grasping his sleeve to hold him in place.

"No, please Darren.", he didn't know why he said please...it could mean so many things.

_Please kiss me again._

_Please don't go._

_Please be with me._

_Please love me._

_Please tell me it'll all be ok._

Darren let out a shaky breath, leaning in again to kiss Chris, letting himself go.

It was a harder kiss this time, mouths opening, tongues slipping, teeth clashing.

They panted into each other's mouths and Chris thought his heart would shatter into a million pieces if it continued racing like that.

Darren's hand was roaming over Chris's back, squeezing, fingers digging into his hip.

He moved it to the front and Chris flinched away when it rested lightly on his crotch.

"S-stop!", he said, pushing his hand away gently.

"Don't...you're straight...it wouldn't work. Who am I fooling besides myself?"

Darren frowned at the bitterness in Chris's voice.

He put his hand up again, cupping the other man's cheek, stroking his cheekbone gently.

"Don't be like that Chris...all these boxes...I thought you'd know better. I have been straight, always, I never did anything with a guy except for some drunken kisses but I've only ever been attracted to women. I don't know...it's different...with you I mean."

Chris was silent, looking around helplessly.

"Look at me Chris.", he tilted up his chin with his thumb, forcing him to face him.

"Do you really think I never noticed the way you looked at me?", Darren asked.

"I-I-I don't know how I look at you, I - "  
>"Do you really think I didn't know you were flirting with me whenever you had something to drink. I know you hold back as good as you can but...I notice Chris and honestly...I'm confused because I enjoyed it."<p>

"So I'm some kind of ego boost for you?", Chris asked.

"Oh god no! You're so much more than that!", he nearly yelled at him.

"Don't you get it? You'd be my perfect match Chris...you're...everything I'm not and at the same time everything I am. You are as geeky as I am and I never met a person who liked the same crazy stuff I liked or the same movies or someone who hated valentine's day as much as I do. It breaks my heart when you put yourself down like that...and act like you wouldn't matter because you do. You are handsome, your eyes are the most beautiful ones I've ever seen...no girl I was with had such perfect lashes and the colour Chris. The way you laugh, the way you speak, your cynicism and sarcasm I love so much even though it reminds me of how badly you were treated when you were a kid. The way you eat, the way you always cross your legs when you sit, the way you freckle when you're in the sun...all these things make you so perfect. Your flaws aren't flaws...they are you. The real you and I love the _real_ you Chris...and it hurts so bad when you say things like "I sound like a girl, I'll be single forever..." and stuff like that because it's so not true. Your voice is beautiful and calming to me, you are beautiful and...wow...fuck...I...I don't know if I'm supposed to say it...I don't know if it would work out fuck...I - Chris I really don't want to screw this up."  
>Darren was silent after his speech, Chris had trouble blinking away the tears in his eyes and keeping eye contact with the man in front of him who himself was tearing up now.<p>

"You're just...so perfect to me and I care about you so much."

He was silent again.

_**"I love you."**_, he finally blurted out, not waiting for a reaction but getting up quickly, whispering "I'm sorry." and rushed out of the trailer with fast and steady steps.

Chris couldn't say anything.

His body was shaking.

He wanted to scream "STAY!" but he was tongue tied.

He wanted to tell Darren why he felt about himself the way he did.

He wanted to tell him that he loved him too but he had so many doubts.

He just sat there, tears streaming down his face now.

Chris got up and walked towards his bunk, falling into the soft mattress.

Maybe this was just a dream.

Maybe if he just wanted it bad enough he'd wake up.

Gosh, what if it wasn't real?

He felt like he was in trance.

Why didn't he stop Darren?

He tried getting a grip on himself, pulling out his phone calling the other man.

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

"Darren? Please I'm sorry! God, I'm such a fuckup... Please come back we need to talk some more. I- because I - I love you too. I have for so long...so please just come back and we'll figure this all out ok? Like we always do."  
>"Sure.", he heard Darren's voice say. "Thank god.", he heard him whisper under his breath and the clicking noise his phone made when he hung up.<p>

A few minutes later Darren rushed into his trailer, pinning Chris up against the wall, kissing him deeply, placing a soft kiss on his temple, his forehead, his nose.

Chris broke away, pulling the smaller one into a soft embrace, nuzzling his nose into the crook of his neck.

"We can't let anyone know though...", Darren whispered into his ear and Chris nodded against him.

"I don't care..." Chris said, his voice quiet and breaking.

"As long as I can have you."


End file.
